


Carisi v. Barba--on The People's Court!

by Ava_now



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fluff, M/M, courtfic, crackfic, mini angst and fluff, so.much.crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23960377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: What you are about to witness is real.  The participants are NOT actors.  They are actual people who have filed a suit or received a summons to appear in a Municipal Court.  Both parties have agreed to dismiss their suit and have their case settled here--in OUR forum--The People's Court!AKA the time Carisi loaned his book to Barba and didn't get it back.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	Carisi v. Barba--on The People's Court!

**Author's Note:**

> I've adapted just a little of the beginning of the People's Court intro. And I don't own anybody, real or fictional!
> 
> This is total crack, first word to last, and I have no earthly excuse for what I was doing other than quarantining it and thinking, "what about..." This was almost Judge Judy but I like Marilyn Milian so much better.
> 
> Kudos or comments are WONDERFUL! Thank you for any and all!

He couldn’t believe it had actually gotten this far, Sonny thought as he scuffed his heel against the linoleum floor. When this had started, Sonny had thought he and Rafael were friends. Okay, maybe not GREAT friends, but good enough to avoid going to court over something like this. And this particular courtroom? He’d been hesitant to agree from the start, but with the courts so backed up right now, it would have taken months longer to go through civil litigation for this. He understood it was a small issue to most people, but to him? It meant something, dammit. He deserved better.

“Okay, Mr. Carisi, go ahead and enter.”

Sonny nodded at the young man with the headphones and entered the door to the courtroom. The room was filled with people who looked to be tourists, and he suddenly had the feeling he was making a really big mistake. Above him, he heard, 

_ “This is Dominick “Sonny” Carisi, Jr. He says he met the defendant at work and they became fast friends. The defendant needed some reading material for a trip he was taking. He THOUGHT he could trust the louse, so he lent him a first edition, autographed novel, thinking it would be returned in pristine condition. Instead, the traveling cheapskate claimed he ‘lost’ the treasure, and he tried to replace it with a dimestore copy he got at CVS. There’s no way he’s accepting a cheap copy for the precious piece of literature he had. He’s suing for $2500, the estimated value of the autographed book.” _

Sonny winced, hearing the narrator describe Rafael as a “louse” and a “cheapskate”. Those certainly weren’t the words he had used in describing the case. He fiddled with the edge of the podium as he heard the narrator continue.

_ “This is Rafael Barba. He borrowed the sleazy book from his colleague, but just so he wouldn’t hurt his feelings. It accidentally got left at the airport as he boarded his plane. Accidents happen, and he was happy to cough up the five bucks plus tax that the joke of a novel is going for. But there’s no way he’s going to pay $2500 for a book that’s more useful as toilet paper. He’s been charged with disrespecting fine literature.” _

Glancing to his side, Sonny saw Rafael round the podium and take his place, his tongue pressed firmly in his cheek, until the narrator said the words “toilet paper”. At that, Barba’s body shook slightly as his nostrils flared and a slight smirk took over his mouth.

“All rise!” The bailiff called them to order and had both men swear to tell the truth as the judge took the bench.

Sonny couldn’t help but smile upon seeing her for the first time. Marilyn Milian was even more attractive in person, and he couldn’t help but think if she wasn’t married he’d be trying a lot harder to be charming. Bringing this case to The People’s Court may have been laughable to everyone initially, but he had a point to prove, and he was going to prove it.

“Dominick ‘Sonny’ Carisi, Jr!” The judge began, shifting through her notes. “Do you go by Dominick or Sonny?”

“I prefer Sonny, ma’am,” he responded, smiling.

“Perfect, Sonny. You’re suing the defendant, Rafael Barba for the estimated value of a first edition, signed copy of a novel by late author Walter Briggs, which you say you loaned to Mr. Barba and he lost. Tell me how you came to have the novel in question.”

“Sure,” Sonny began. “I’m a detective with the NYPD, and I met Mr. Briggs and his family during a case I was working. Upon his death, his daughter Judith gifted the novel to me. She knew how much I admired her father and that the novel meant a lot.” Glancing toward Rafael, Sonny added, “Mr. Barba knew that as well.”

“That novel was trash,” Rafael muttered. “I’m sorry, your honor, but the only thing trashier than that novel was the case, and Mr. Carisi’s ‘hero’.”

“Mr. Barba, you’ll need to wait your turn,” Judge Milian admonished, and she turned her attention back to Sonny as Rafael quietly apologized. “Now, Mr. Carisi, it’s clear that Mr. Barba isn’t a big fan of the author’s work. How did he come to have your copy of the book?”

Sonny sighed. “He was going on vacation somewhere south...islands, I think. St Lucia or something--”

“Lucia is my mother, for God’s sake,” Barba griped, turning to him. “I was in Bermuda.”

“Mr. Barba,” the judge interrupted, “that’s enough.”

Barba shook his head. “I’m sorry, your honor.”

“At any rate,” Sonny began again, “Mr. Barba was talking about not having anything to read that was related to work for once. I’d just finished reading the book, and I thought he might find it interesting to read for pleasure, so I offered it to him, and he took it and thanked me.”

“I’m going to need you to tell me exactly how that conversation went.” Judge Milian tapped her pen on her desk.

“We’d all had lunch together--the squad, I mean--and Barba had mentioned not having anything work-related to read for the next two weeks on vacation. I remembered that I had the book in my desk and I grabbed it. As he was heading toward the elevators, I stopped him and said, ‘Hey, I don’t know if you remember the Briggs case, but this is the book his daughter gave me. I thought you might enjoy reading it on vacation, since you don’t have anything else work-related.’ And he took it and smiled and said, ‘Sure, thanks, Carisi.’ And that was the last I saw of it.”

“I see.” Judge Milian turned her chair slightly toward Rafael. “Mr. Barba, what’s up? What happened to his book?”

Rafael sighed heavily and fought the strong desire to roll his eyes. “I absolutely lost the book. And I tried to pay him back. In fact, I ordered the thing off of Amazon, a hard copy and everything, and took it to him the day I got back. And he looked like I’d slapped him in the face. Next thing I know, I’m hearing rumors from our colleagues that I’m a self-absorbed jerk who doesn’t appreciate thoughtful gestures.” He raised an eyebrow. “I can assure you, your honor, that I’m perfectly willing to pay what the book is worth. But let’s be honest--this is not fine literature. This is a book that a woman gave away to Detective Carisi, quite likely because she didn’t want it anymore. I know he may not like to think that.” His voice softened toward the end, and he turned to look at Sonny. “But it’s the truth, and while it’s not fair for me to pay nothing, it’s also not fair for me to fund a year’s worth of his goat cheese pizza addiction.”

“That book meant something to me because Walter Briggs meant something to me!” Sonny exclaimed suddenly. “I leant it to you because I wanted to do something nice for you, and you just treated it like trash!”

“Hold on boys,” Judge Milian held both hands out in front of her, “Slow down. Mr. Carisi, did Mr. Barba understand the inherent worth of the book? Because it sounds like he didn’t.”

“I thought he would,” Sonny said. “I thought he’d remember how important it was to me, and treat it as such.”

The judge turned to Rafael. “Mr. Barba, did you know how important this book was to Mr. Carisi?”

Sonny turned to face Rafael, who was now looking at him with wide eyes. “No,” he said slowly. “I didn’t. To be honest, my grandmother passed around the same time Sonny probably received that book, and I guess I just never realized it was so important to him.” There was a quiet pause. “I guess I was just so involved in my own stuff, and it didn’t click when you handed it to me as I was getting on the elevator. I’m sorry, Sonny.”

Sonny took in Rafael’s sincere expression, then turned slowly back to the judge. She was half-smiling at him, shrugging her shoulders. “So what do you want to do, Sonny?” she asked. “You accept his apology?”

“Of course I do,” Sonny said softly. “I had forgotten about your grandmother’s passing at that time, Rafael. I’m really sorry I blew up about this.”

“Now, gentleman,” Judge Milian picked up her pen and straightened her papers. “We still need to decide exactly how much that book is worth, so that Mr. Barba can reimburse Mr. Carisi an appropriate amount. Do you have any estimates for me, Mr. Carisi?”

Sonny did. He had several pages printed out from used bookstores, ebay, even Amazon, with prices ranging wildly. But no matter what, it wasn’t going to be the book Judith had handed him. He had the memories of meeting Walter Briggs, and he had a collection of the novelist’s works at home. He really didn’t need Barba to pay an overinflated price for something that had cost him nothing to begin with. All he had wanted was to know Barba thought about his loss. Turned out, he needed to think about Barba’s loss too.

“Your honor,” he suddenly leaned forward on the podium, “you may not believe this, but I think the novel costs about the same as a draft beer at our squad’s hangout--six bucks.”

He turned in time to see Rafael’s eyes open wide and he began to shake his head. “Your honor, that’s not fair...I want to be fair…”

Judge Milian smiled. “On the contrary, Mr. Barba, I think it is fair, but only if you buy Mr. Carisi the beer in person. Go have the beer and talk, and if you decide at some point to buy Mr. Carisi a gift of an autographed first edition by Walter Briggs, I’m sure it would be appreciated, but it’s not ordered. Judgement for the plaintiff in the amount of a six-dollar beer.” Smiling at both men, she added, “Good luck, folks,” before leaving the bench.

Sonny turned to see Rafael facing him, eyes still wide, and Sonny couldn’t help but grin as the bailiff held him back while Rafael was encouraged to head into the lobby and chat with the host, Doug Llewellyn.

“And here comes the defendant, Mr. Barba...so you lost a big six dollars today, huh, Mr. Barba?” Doug Llewellyn’s makeup was thick and his smile was fake. He smelled of some ridiculously rich cologne and Rafael couldn’t help but think this guy probably made ten times what he did.

“Uh, yes. Six dollars for a beer,” he smiled politely, trying to head toward the exit, but Doug stopped him with a hand to the elbow.

“So what do you think? You think you got off easy? Gonna buy your colleague that book at some point?”

Rafael kept his smile plastered on his face and looked straight into the camera. “I just may. I think we both understand each other better now. Mr. Carisi is a fine officer and he has my respect.”

“I’m sure he does!” Doug grinned even wider before toning it down and adding, “And sorry about your grandmother. Exit’s back that way. Mr. Carisi! Come right over here--are you satisfied with the judge’s ruling?”

Sonny watched Rafael head toward the exit before turning his attention back to Doug. “Absolutely. I think it was fair for both of us and it cleared up both of our misconceptions.”

“You know, he really does seem like a nice guy. Too bad he lost his grandmother.” Doug’s microphone was still in Sonny’s face, right under his bottom lip.

“Yes it is. He’s a terrific prosecutor and a great person.”

“Well congratulations! There are some forms for you to sign…” And with that, Sonny found himself rounding the corner toward the exit.

***

“Come on over here, babe.” Rafael was curled up in front of the fireplace, covered with a throw blanket and drinking his coffee. They were enjoying Christmas afternoon alone, with their favorite show, The People’s Court, on in the background. Sonny turned on the Christmas lights before padding his way over to the couch next to his boyfriend.

“I’ve owed you this for awhile.” Rafael handed him a rectangular package. “Merry Christmas.”

Sonny knew what it was before he opened it. He could never have imagined life turning out this way. They had left court that day in May and gone to Forlini’s to chat over a beer, but had ended up starting to build the best relationship Sonny had ever had. Seven months later and he was more in love with Rafael Barba than he could have imagined. As he ran his fingers over the first edition, he smiled. “Thank you, honey. Thank you for seeing what matters to me, and for understanding it wasn’t just a book.”

Rafael gently nosed his cheek. “I love you, Sonny.”


End file.
